chronological order is from the bottom to the top of the page
layout is done with the internet explorer text size setting at largest and with a zoom of 125%, though i don't have an opinion on any correct size per se
links are in the times new roman font
i think the problem that lesbians have
is that sex is so accessible
they spend their lives in a frenzy of lust
and there's a stupidity that follows from that
a bit from here
a bit from there
and a bit from somewhere else
the universities don't write
they put inane thoughts in code
that they then claim is not inane
you are trivialising the great's like van gogh or monet
same with writing
read harry potter and osip mandelstham is hurt
but life has always been that way
fem lesbians are double folded female
death is a constant process
in living
unless you are schizophrenic or psychotic and that's the problem
they don't die to the delusions
tho they die if they look
men drive the cars
and women drive the men
i don't think translations are stand alone poems
they have to be read in the context of other translations
and the original
i think if you can really see something
you would escape it
you can see that you can't really see something
the male is happy if the female is happy
the female is happy if the male is, shall we say, "somewhat under the gun"?
women are arrogant about men being so blind about their motivations etc.
well superiority
but arrogance i have seen in a lot of women about this
how men are moved around like pawns in chess by women
you really have to let ideas change at their own speed
you love my mind and i suppose that's part of love, a greed for what the other is
anais nin expresses the female point of view very well
we spend so much of our life
doing what doesn't really interest us
a poem is a personal form of memory
we all get murdered by love in our different ways
some get murdered more than others
or is it
they simply don't see it?
employment is slavery
genius in terms of genius is overrated
or perhaps it isn't, i was thinking of keats and the ode on a grecian urn
but in terms of the hoi polloi it's not
there's a very low level out there
eventually the picture erodes and the stars shine through
it's weird how the days roll into each other, like some endless road trip, never ending
the deep sleep of forever
“ this statement is false ”
there is so much indefintion in that
that you can't really say anything
people are so schizophrenic that it severely degrades their ability to raise children successfully
therefore since schizophrenia seems to be an evolutionarily driven imperative
it must be enforced by the priority of motivation to raise children
that is, its no good having a better ability to raise children successfully if that superior clarity of thinking encourages retirement from the need to raise children
there's something wrong with the american university system with its enshrinement of stupidity and attention deficit
art, literature, medicine, nutrition
they are as thick as bloody bricks
vegas by charles bukowski
quite a subtle poem as he modes into the artificial crap poetry style that is so typical of academic writers
yeah don't tell people what disturbs them
my day is made if i can get two hours sleep during the day
there's no world where there is a poet one side of the fence and on the other side are the readers
poetry is a natural mode of thinking
theres no point to reading poetry except the processing
i write for myself and memory
nice comfy feelings don't make for clear thinking
religion, religious work and schizophrenia are all different sides of the same thing
truth is a cross between religion and poetry
the problem is you are emotionally immature until you start to die
one of the depressing things about this work is the sheer human emptiness of it
but its also a joy
trial and error
error and trial
theory needs to inform experience
and experience needs to inform theory
as i get older
almost everything is a poisoned chalice
i don't think its helpful to consider wether this or that person does or doesn't conform to this or that abstraction
there's something intrinsic in abstraction that does and doesn't apply
there is nothing more pointless than the criticism of poetry
a good poem is integral
you cannot break it apart or suggest improvements meaningfully
if its a bad poem why bother?
the sort of intelligence required to breed is quite different from that to understand life
the intelligence to understand life is quite exceptional, extrordinary and rare
osip mandelstam stayed with beauty and died with her
there is nothing more depressing than reading the lives of the poets
you can't go back to the past
insert yourself as you are now
and things would have been different
someone does you a favour
emotionally it doesn't feel like it
but practically it is
you are a fool not to take advantage of it
there is no explanation for a leaf insect except evolution
the female brain is more powerful than the male brain
that is why men do so much better at gender blurring
they are tapping into that more powerful brain
whereas women tap into the less powerful male brain
i am sure you have seen it with lesbians, just more sexual silliness
you may be not at rest in this world
but at rest in infinity
the big difference between the net and books is the cost of blank space is zero
there's any number of stories that can be conceived but never written
and who knows, never conceived
however great anything is, it will be brought down
you should have known me long enough to know i am always going off track and steering back on, sometimes its a process of months or years
its my brain
if saying something doesn't do any good, then like me you would be better to bite your tongue and wait for a good opportunity when things are black and white
nothing exists in its pure unadultered form in this world
its always better to have a degree of spoiling
because it will happen anyway
in writing you have to make what is not said
work just as much for you
as what is said
reality is a single fabric from which even physics is cut
there is something in a double rainbow that implies the curvature of space
one of the things about the web
is writing is such a meaningless occupation now
i remember reading einstein's description of how he dealt with light and the observer
it was very elegant, like looking at a triple backwards somersault and ending up landing in the same place on his feet facing the right way
he escaped the recursion in a clear and meaningful way, yet was still the recursion
there is infinity
there is no infinity
this stuff is quantum physics
you can't reason directly about something that the fact of observing
changes the nature of what is observed
i am not a compedent speller
love is a gulag
there's something intrinsically zero sum about life
autism is basically an ultra logical, ultra creative mindset that comes from a fusion of the brain in the womb touching on infinity to give it the needed power to get through a disasterous life of very deep potholes
being fellow travellers is a stronger bond than love
once a month a follicle spits an egg into the ovary. all human behavior is determined by this
just being away from people is one the most marvellous fullfilments a man like me can have
just the absence of humanity is a fullfilment so graceful that even god would understand if he invented them which he probably didn't
death is not a discrete process with the demise of the the departed
life is full of leavings
nothing is ever right, it's all a process
theres no such thing a getting something right, its a continual process of improvement and you have not entered into this process so are getting caught out
i don' t think people understand how significant thyroid problems are
they think its just another thing, but thyroid problems kill all of you
a drop of iodine on the wrist once week can be a huge help to you
women with breast cancer are as good as killed by the crappy advice about skin vitamin D/sun and iodine
breast cancer cannot be cured, only put into remission
are you going to be a moth and chase the flame of the opposite sex?
every time i write something i wave it goodbye
i am not optimistic
it will just disappear into the vast sink of infinity like everything else
women are very different and think very differently
they can be very self oriented and the only thing that tempers that somewhat is love
even on that leash they can be murderous and if they are not on it, just forget it
nothing fits on spectrum, love, life or anything, its best to focus on getting the basics of survival well founded
and thats just the way it is
its not possible to read the bible and be a christian
its a deeply ambiguous document
the more you know about the bible
the less possible it is to be a christian
appearing happy
just lift the corners of your mouth
stop you looking grim
i think theres something about success that breeds failure
some willingness to jump into the unknown again
with the usual disasterous consequences
or not necessarily disasterous
theres nothing like an illness or disease to stuff your schedule up
if you are ill or have a disease
give it priority
incompetence is better than wrong minded competence
the problem with god
is not that i have a problem with god
but that god would worry who made him
since he made everything
then he would worry
who made him?
genius has only one fate
to be ignored in its own generation
and plagiarized in every generation that follows
when your enemy makes a mistake
don't point it out to them
its good they take the consequences
i keep having to explain what i write
its a discursion on reality
if you want to be upset
you will
but just step back
and see how things fall
my poems hurt because i am hurt
all my poems hurt cause no matter what i do, i hurt
you are hurt
so am i
its really fundamental that what i write is sorta an average over a lifetime and not necessarily happening now
how can i tell you are on autistic spectrum or have aspergers syndrome?
you have that ultra rational streak that only comes from extreme physiological and neural hardship
normality is peculiar
extremely peculiar
what does the donkey know of its master?
as a general rule, anything written about women by men is likely to be lacking
this is particularly noticeable in fiction
one form of misery just gets replaced with another
its better to be out of than in love
communism is so economically dysfunctional that it takes an extreme amount of repression to keep the rulers in control
hence the reality of communism is thuggish
i think the problem with tv is we take an elaborate construct
as natural and intuitive reality but it's very far from that
you cannot take my writing as my bedrock emotional state, it is writing
poems are never exactly our lives
what makes a good poem is its ability to be universal despite its specific context
a unity of the personal with the abstract
i have never seen any miracles
i have only seen work in the right direction create its own luck or tap into quantum space
people usually half work in the wrong direction
sometimes it can take a very long time to get things right
results are hard to get and demanding and with life's other pressures no wonder people just sit in some vacant non-functional space
pretending and not performing
basically you need to abstain from some superflous activities to get the extra time
thank god i have given up being a sucker sinking my time into you lot of ratbags
existance has a substrate
the seeds of spoilage
sprout
in the search for perfection
its all a process
it just goes on
it never fixes
the problem with atheism
is if you say theres no god
its the same as saying there's
one god
the weirdest thing is there is no audience for competent supplement and dietary advice
for completely insane twaddle
there is an audience
sometimes those who thwart you are doing you a big favour
not necessarily
but they really do
if you take someone's advice, how can another part of it be so bad you go the opposite of it?
you need to think about that
its funny that how god which is the conventional human depiction of infinity is male and typically wrong
infinity is a very gender blurred female
if infinity favours my efforts, she will look after them
it's not my concern
yeah human is to fail and die rather than try
you can't put sense where its not there
the problem with employing the unemployed
is that short of violence
you can't force the unwilling to work satisfactorily
if you don't stop short of violence it can be done
slave cultures used to do this
people have no idea how intrinsic slave culture is to the human pysche
there is a lot less continuity
within ourselves than people imagine
question to a zen master : you have passed all the koans and been given transmission
why does a passing child know more than you?
i am walking LSD
just reading my writing breaks down your boundaries
in a constructive way
if you can hack it!
people get very nasty when they are told what is true, but what they don't want to know
the guiding stars that a child develops by age 7 will govern the course he steers and is steered by
for the rest of his life
the conventional view is that life is everything
and death is nothing
but in fact
death is the quantum backdrop
that life is dependent on for its sustenance
i think what i specialize in
is an abstract perception which the world is not ready for and never will be
there is no point to it and i wonder why i do it
i am able to and it is more interesting than anything else
if there's one thing i notice women hate, it's that they are damaged being pointed out to them
they can cope with most stuff
but this really gets their goat
interfers with some deep brain paradigm of fitness for breeding?
on the tenth or one hundredth time around
sometimes i get it
autism is a gift, it is a neurological adpatation that occurs within the womb
what has happened, especially with the dominance by the americans and their horrendous vaccine scheduling from birth in recent decades is “like autism"
that is damage that looks like autism without the gift
just crappy murderous social seeking
you have lived long enough to see how dumbed down everything is now
those that don't want to know
won't know
the vast majority are caught within the ideas of their generation
and want it that way
or at least will never look or have any notion of seeking further
unconcious living
one of the problems with poems is you get seduced by words and expressions
poignant
really seduced
who cares
about an autism diagnosis?
why this need for insane referents?
infinity cleans my shoes!
a prophet is without honour in his own country and this is for the protection of the prophet because with honour comes those who would destroy you and usually they succeed
if you remove the "invisible hand" of adam smith then by necessity you will have the visible hand of terror and the state security apparatus
simply because the economic performance is is so misallocated and poorly performing that huge inertial forces will fly the whole thing apart without terror
history is the history of humans and tools and modern technology is moving the economic and social enviroment in a weak way but still there moving more towards socialism, misallocation and terror
weirdly there is now a terror of medical cultism, especially the compulsion and terror of the vaccine holocast now current (1990 -) in the usa
the whole idea of quantum, the imposition of the particular against the backdrop of infinite potential
human love is occlusive of infinite love
basically there's a fairly simple theoretical background in which self injury, injury and ultimate reality/infinity make sense and auden's "as i walked out one evening" poem is a good explanation of that
it takes a woman to keep a man in one place
aging is not a quiet decline, but the steadily increasing roar of a hurricane that consumes us eventually
the problem is men are dull compared to women
they are just not interesting to write homilies about
my homilies are a strong compliment to women because they are interesting enough to study and observe
(ed. the above is in in response to a complaint about my "bias" about not writing about men much)
women always have a residual sharpness and realism ready to take advantage of a situation regardless of their views of it
i think the moment you become famous
your creative life comes to an end
fortunately
that is not going to happen
people only want dead twits they can plagarize
and sell themselves
as priests of
the bleak cold world of
ultimate reality
if you want to upset people
talk to a bunch of women
about non-attachment
women are too specialised to the manipulation of male behavior and the raising of children to be much good at anything else
conversely men need manipulation to keep them at all functional
my poems are abstract and a synthesis of a life's experience and that of my observation of others
they are not necessarily personal
tho they can be
the pole star
of the individual brain
life is a long homily
kitchen organisation is all about stacking, shelves and storage of non-useful items!
one of the benefits of letting things go for a while is seeing what you use and don't use
lovers joining the dots the wrong way is one of life's disaster areas
men and women are designed to be tempered by each other
life is fatigue
truth is complex and intricated
love is a constantly varying landscape
there is a constant huge rate of change
that is difficult to see
if you don't think that this is the case
then you can't see it
or are out of love
what is out there
a million miles of morons
yeah!
sir henry neville wrote the plays purported to be by william shakespeare
it really distorts one sense of reality to think that shakepseare wrote those when he was so very ordinary
the myth the plays were by shakespeare was perpetuated by friends of neville after his death to protect nevilles children
poetry is to tell yourself about how the world is
“the truth hurts”
truth is a larger context than personal gratification
that's what causes the issues
and then there's the question of what is true
oftentimes its not easy to tell or even form a meaningful question and has to be delineated over a while or quite a while
shifting sands i am afraid
women are to misinformation
like sand is to being grainy
when i left "was pushed out" of my last job they lost one of their best workers, but it was good thing for me to have left
you are only making money for the owners and at the end of the day you only take the experience you have gained from your work with you, that's all you take for giving the best years of your life
that was very important for me to learn that
one advantage the mad have is they look outside the normal boundaries
this does help with problem solving
being mad tho they don't cross reference what actually happens with what they would like to be happening
being mad is a state of maladaption of problem solving activities, not simply a state of mind
so many right roads and only one wrong road
why do we always take the wrong road?
actually the above is a wrong road because there are so many wrong roads and so few right ones
being alive has a very rough edge
women are great believers in having their cake and eating it
zen is toxic viral swill
the problem with love is it is completely compelling
there's nothing quite as insane as a completely futile voluntary activity
theory is an increasingly fine grained approximation to observation
the only way to escape this is tautology
then you are the grain
quantum physics enforces that level of detail/fine graining for which observation is a material physical mechanism interfering with the physics of what is observed
in other words observation and being observed are recursive
no wonder einstein didn't like it, tho his original thought experiments with light are a brilliant escape from the recursion of observation and effect
quantum physics is a tribute to the porosity of absolute reality
everything is successive approximation
charles bukowski has made a big impact on me and i was wondering why
i think its because he had a strong natural line in the infinite and he was confident in it
i have strong natural line but being somewhat socially oriented and wishy washy was never confident
i am now confident
however far you have come there is always a million times further to go
thats what infinity is
life is infinite
i write for myself and those across generations, i don't expect sympathy or anything except negativity within this generation
why is that?
i think its because people have purpose and any discursion on absolute reality strongly undercuts and opposes any purpose or point to life
there is not a consistent semantics to explain absolute reality or even an absolute reality
let time work for you
"reality is not what people think it is"
what could be more than love?
there's something more than love
i live a different paradigm, i live for eternity and not tomorrow
a win is fragile, it can be taken away
one of the big differences with publishing on the web is blank space is free, whereas on paper it costs the paper, even if it doesn't have any printing on it
people are like bowerbirds or magpies, they are not interested in the thing itself or competency or understanding of the subject per say but the accretion of appearances to deck about themselves
human behavior is all about successful breeding so it must work to a considerable extent
or it's maybe just malfunctional damage
one can be distanced without being less in love
distance is tidal
it moves on the poles of contiguity
if something is spoiled a bit from the start, that is realistic rather than having it unalloyed which will be destructive
"never get old if you can avoid it"
one of the problems with wealth i think is that you lose touch with doing things for yourself and rely on purchased services for everything and in fact, by and large, purchased services miss the fine intrication necessary for adequate health and nutrition
orwell's 1984, while very good makes the presumption of perfect competence by the state which is faulty, in fact the state is very incompetent, or a sad mix of competencies and incompetencies which is the usual crucifixion of the human condition
as a matter of interest, 1984 is named for a poem by orwells wife, eileen o'shaughnessy, “end of the century 1984”, written in 1934
intelligence can be clarified with a bit of work and inclination
i think the way the "beyond reasonable doubt" verdict works is something like this
if the verdict was just what the jury thought was guilty and not beyond reasonable doubt you would have a 10% false incarceration rate
beyond reasonable doubt reduces it to 1%
what is philosophy?
the love of sophie
who is sophie?
the philosophers wife
philosophy is inherently a fragmented paradigm
i must be viral, all my bon mots are not quite bonning
why would you choose something that is true, over something that is false?
because what is true is a better explanation and more predictive
people nowadays just choose what is most convenient
what is truth is entirely recursive, what is true is not
the failure of modern life is the replacement of any sane notion of what truth is with the notion that truth is simply any consensus view
something is true when the evidence comes consistently from a number of different viewpoints that are themselves true
poetry is a force for intelligence in a world where the force is for stupidity
i think writing poetry is a social event across the centuries with the few people ever likely to understand you or be interested
brutality is part of elegance simply because the delight of elegance is a quick kill
the thing about religion is the very mediocre minds it contains
even the so called “greats”
st. augustine especially
genius is a kind of intellectual poverty
it is not dependent on internal resources
but synchronicity with the external world
people want cost free understanding
if you look at the lives of the poets, john keats, charles bukowski, syliva plath, anne sexton, do you want lives like that?
if you can't accept that is what it takes then you have no clues.
on the other hand a cruelly painful life is no guarantee of understanding
there is no system but work, persistence and winnowing
its very difficult for people to understand the viewpoint of poetry until you write it yourself
poems don't want to be just personal experience but need some leavening with abstraction about life
what is the point of writing poetry if you don't get some larger overall look at things?
poetry is about questions like "what is the nature of reality", "what is death", "what is life?"
it's not the usual thing and most people are not interested in the same way sheep are not interested in the slaughter house or what
is beyond the paddock
these questions can be pretty brutal and my advice is if you are not interested, not to look
people want trash
they do this because the demands of life
only permit shallow attention to everything
they follow what feels good and tastes good to them
its only when you question the reality of what feels good and tastes good
that you start to move away from trash
if it all makes so much sense
why do people die?
its better to take a bit of damage in advance than more damage later
one of the problems of getting older is you can't track the cost benefit of this
or take any damage at all
the perspective of ownership
is a perspective
the purpose of the female is to sucker the male
the female view is that men are emotionally immature. the undisguised female view is that men are immature
the male view is that women are crazy, the undisguised male view is that women are insane
people make too much of understanding, not understanding is just as important
i have long pondered hatred with a logical mind and come to the conclusion hatred has no logic, nor does it have consistency.
hatred is opportunistic and hence it bends to maximise its justifications.
hence it is completely futile (and exhausting) to address of answer to hatred using logic.
so if one is utterly logical, one best leave hatred to self destruct.
the phrase ‘get a life’ is actually very helpful. for when one leaves haters to it, their world is actually nothing more than a pimple on the arse of humanity
donna williams cyber bully
women watch men the way men watch bank accounts and investments
real life is far more interesting and absurd than any fiction
being wrong is like catching a ball, its a skill
what has being wrong got to offer you?
if you are never wrong , you will never be right
when you have fallen in love, you are faced with the extraordinary sight of your own brain trotting you up to the guillotine
all information presented is coloured by our own agendas
theres always a mix of selling, misinformation and useful information
mostly i step back now and let people fall into their own confusion
to them that don't have, what little they have they throw away
van gogh was poisoned by a combination of the heavy metals in his ultra bright paint pigments and the toxins from the syphilis spirochete
he sold one painting in his lifetime and poisoned himself for generations of arseholes to follow to make money out of him
such is the way of beauty and truth
theres just no remedy for somethings, no matter what you do there's no remedy
educational arts qualifications are not worth a cent, they are certificates of inability and retardation
the non-necessity of an audience or the illusionary necessity of an audience
truth is a subset of sense, nonsense knows no subset
the hunting of the snark is truth and nonsense
audens "land of the dead" is a perspective on quantum space
is it simplifying or is it complexising
i notice people only like what they agree with, they have no notion of getting to grips with what they disagree with
i'd rather talk to the interesting dead than the live boring
the misshapen, half born
some call them poets
atheism is another human worshipping religion
one of the problems is that evolutionarily and genetically men are not real compared to women
like they are second rate and not worth talking about much compared to women
men are like ghosts compared to womens reality
self centeredness in women is for their own use
self centeredness in men is the vehicle by which women control mens behavior
men who are manipulative in the female way are very gender blurred
one of the hardest things about writing is accepting that one has talent or even genius in the face of the chorus of naysaying by the cretins who don't like being shown up
poetry is not about poets but poems
everything is endless infinite regress
you don't have to look at escher
u live it
sometimes i listen to my own advice, like i really need to use this diarying process (text files ed.) much more intensively to make more progress
it also makes using the computer a lot less passive, not just endless reading
the passivity of just reading is more a core issue with computers and the internet, not just computer use per se
poetry often can't make sense but prose just about always does
i think the difference between poetry and prose is the unity of sound in a poem
women can be extraordinarily self centered and men are the suckers that support this
its results that matter, not intentions
someone may intend to do you good but have a harmful effect
another may intend to injure you but in fact help you
somethings are irreversible, usually the effects are complex, work with it and don't angst over it
you need to learn to let time do the work for you
just wait and see which i do quite a bit with you
god is the misinformation of the crowd
theres nothing intuitive about driving, it takes an accident or near accident to get your attention
the relationship between the land of dead or quantum reality and this world is a mixture of savancy, gift, focus, priorities, serendipitous spreading of attention and especially work
there is always a constant building needed to create the steps that with a bit of luck can reach the heights
auden's giant, jack, lily-white boy and jill are constantly being built
you can go back and forth with meaning
meaning what
going back and forth with meaning
christianity now is a shadow of its glory from the the time of roman empire to luther.
its been dead for centuries and what we see now is just the remnants and it can't be less than this
what killed christianity was the obvious absurdity of the crusades which was involved heavy losses and minimal loot
its odd how these things have a life of their own and can echo down the ages
islam is now running into issues of compatibility with modern life but its not as sophisticated as christianity and never ran into an issue like the crusades
where the fundamental purpose of a religion which is to loot got disguised by acutal beliefs
what happens when we die?
the world does not continue
poems can't be criticized or analysed
they can only be replied to
this is to sort out the educated twits who think english is capitals, correct spelling and shallow concepts
to write a poem you have to go to the edge and beyond
you return a different person
men don't have sex
they have something that is in the same relation to women as a match to a bonfire
the male brain is just as romantic as the female if not more
perhaps more because it is so beset by illusion
males have natural blinders in the brain that prevent them understanding a woman.
if you want to understand a woman just look at what they do and believe it
the blinders can't get around that
you can win by so much you look like you are losing
you may be retired but the body decay process has gone into overtime
each stage of life is just as painful and difficult as the last
the net has profoundly shifted the balance of power from companies, corporates and organisations to individuals
humans are chimpanzees with kitsch